Day 17: Time for you to go...

So it's true, I was dating someone during the summer months. It was complicated from the get-go and way too many people were involved than should have been. I mean, when an entire class + class's instructor + family knows about it and there has only been one date...I'd say that's like a bunch of clowns shoved in a Volkswagen! So it began in June, a smooth enough road with minor debris like me preferring to remain a private person (and not having everyone know everything all the time), 5 hours driving between us, me not really liking his friends and that sort of thing.

After date 2, he actually gets slightly intoxicated around my brother (and my father is in the near vicinity) and tells my brother that "I like your sister quite a bit."

After date 3 I have rugburn...unpleasant!

Before date 4 he says, "do you realize we've been dating for a month?" My silent response, "Um, I'm pretty sure it's been 3 dates!" On date 4 he gives me some collegiate merchandise and accompanies it with this: "I've never given a girl any of this merch before!"

At this point, I am a little in the red zone. I am an admitted commitment-phobe and some of these signs are telling me to run away. I will not allow use of the B or G word (ie. boyfriend/girlfriend) and no label is put on this "dating experience." On date 4 I also express a dislike in one of his best friends, siting the fact that he tried to make a joke about my sister which was in extremely bad taste, and that I would prefer not to be put in any social situations with him. This conversation is one-sided (me) and he says nothing. Good talk! I mean, I was ready for a conversation, not a monologue!

Date 5, also known as Hell Date, or Waste of My Time, or The Breaking Point. I shall now revert to my scripting:

Boy: So, what are your plans for the day?
Me: What a queer question to ask someone who drove 5 hours to see you and has nothing else planned What are the plans surrounding the concert?
B: Me and G were thinking drinks at 5 and then pick G's girl up at 530.
M: Hmm, well, you can just pick me up when you pick her up.
B: It's actually easier if we pick you up first.
M: Okay, that's fine. But, I'm not really comfortable being in a car with people who have been drinking.
B: Then I won't drink.
M: Uh, then you'll be the driver! And frankly I'm angry at the fact that you would put me in that situation!
B: I'd never put you in that situation! And by "drinks" you do know that I meant one beer right?
M: You were going to put me in that situation until I said something! And obviously, no I did not think one beer.
B: I wouldn't put anyone in that situation!
M: At this point I feel like I'm 6 and going "nuh uh" and having someone return "uh huh" back and forth, back and forth
B: I'll tell you what. Why don't you and I go and just meet the other two at the concert.
M: pssh, they'll be better company than I will right now!

At the restaurant, being in a 3 on 1 situation (no, it could not, in any way, shape, or form be construed as a double date) was uncomfortable. I found myself unable really to add to the conversation since it was all about name dropping and things that had happened to them. I just stared out the glass toward the tv. I would look at someone if they were talking and attempt to get in the conversation, but no dice.

When I was home, I did apologize for making him uncomfortable with my silence, if that's what happened. He replied, "I think it was fine."

The communication slowed down a great deal before pretty much stopping all together. I had pretty much decided that we were not really the best pair, and because I wanted to tell him face-to-face but did not have time to drive 10hrs roundtrip just to do that, I thought a phone call would work. He is generally busy, so I thought I would text him a head's up, first.

M: We should talk sometime soon.
No response

M: Two days later Are you busy tonight?
B: Yea, I have studying and other stuff to do.
M: Okay, well, whenever you get free time, let me know.
B: Will do. Sorry I've been incommunicado lately, I've just been studying a lot and helping my brother deal with some things.
M: I understand.

I contemplated this last bit of information while I was with my mother. I mean, how long does it take to send a text? My mother responded that if she were ill I would not want to talk to anyone either. Perhaps he is really worried about his brother. This seemed like it made sense.

20 minutes later (no exaggeration at all!) I go on FB, check to see who of my friends is online, and lo and behold that guy is on? Um, I'm pretty sure that if my mother fell ill I would not be on FB or the internet, save my e-mail. These occurrences kept happening. I happened to be on FB more that week than usual and I would always see him on my chat list. And believe me when I say I wasn't purposely looking for him; I do have more important things to do than that! I might see him listed as "online" once or twice a day!

Where's the respect? Not having time is one thing, not wanting to talk to you is another! If you didn't want to talk to me, then perhaps you should have called me and we could have ended it like adults! So, after waiting a week for him to contact me (he should have been able to since it's not like he never has time off) I decided to just list myself as "Single" on FB. What else could I do? If he "doesn't have time" then I wouldn't really be able to reach him via phone, would I?

His FB status is still listed as "It's Complicated" so I don't really know if he has yet to change it, or he still thinks we're dating. My friends/family tell me to just "let it die" and not worry about it, but it is this uncertainty that is unnerving. I would prefer it to be said as over, rather then it stay in limbo.

Perhaps he'll talk to me after it's been a month. He seems to like month anniversaries!

Pondering,
~S