Day 14: Google is dangerous for the naive

Google and I have a love-hate relationship. If I need to find the official fan site for Ashley Greene, it can help me; what hair styles are best for my face, yes; when I can start wearing white, yes; how to deal with rug burn on the face and so on. However, there is also a seedy and dark side to Google, one that makes me never want to look up any sort of code word or abbreviation that may be innuendo. Let me explain.

Ex. 1: As I said before, I enjoy comic books...who doesn't? From time to time, I enjoy researching certain characters to get more of a back story on them, or to just familiarize myself with them. One day, I decided to look up Herman Schultz, aka Shocker. Shocker happens to be one of my favorite Spider-man villains. Now, as I am looking for a bio on Mr. Schultz, I am stunned to find this sexually explicit definition of what a "shocker" is! Two in the what and one in the where?!?! *blushes* Ahem, yea, uh Google? That's not what I meant!

Ex. 2: At one point, a creeper that I dated infrequently randomly texts me "Reverse Cowgirl?" Now, you have to understand that I am an innocent and naive person so I can't really imagine what the heck that is. I assume, mind you, that it is some sort of sexual position, but I haven't read the Karma Sutra and I've no idea what position he's talking about (nor would I oblige him). So, in order to figure out what's going on, I decide to Google...WHAT?!?! The girl is positioned how and does what? And it's for guys who have butt fetishes? *grows somewhat ill* Hell no, you creeper! Guys are odd! Whenever I repeat this story, my friends usually laugh at me and make it seem that they knew all along that they knew what "reverse cowgirl" was. I bet they had no idea either. I do still wonder why it's called "missionary," however...I mean...hmmm...

Ex. 3: I was frequenting a message board one day and one of the topics being discussed was the recent Wolverine movie. All the fans pretty much agree that we got shafted because they screwed up Deadpool (a fan fave). At one point, one of my friends is commenting on something and begins his post with "I'm a big DP fan..." The next post then comments on this, saying "Dude, keep that to yourself!" I find myself puzzled and confused (and state this on the thread) alongside the younger members of the board. I decide to research this abbreviation. Double what? I'm sorry...how is that possible? And why would a girl agree to that? *passes out*

So those are pretty much my terrible Google experiences! Each time I run away, frightened and wondering why the heck I Googled that thing anyway! I cannot warn you readers enough: if you come to something you don't know, and it seems like innuendo...whatever you do...JUST DON'T GOOGLE!!! Just pretend you know what's going on, and don't ask your friends...you'll feel better about your self that way!

And now, a word from our sponsor, Deadpool!DP love,
~S